"I don't have an overabundance of friends right now, Des."
Posted by ~Ray @ 2008-08-24 20:12:32
Whiskey was on the menu. Whiskey dulled hurt. But as she got closer to her old home ducking from alley to alley to avoid being seen by Zero Tolerance patrols and sneaking into the backyard through a hole in the fence. Ilse remembered Desmond's own injury. He's sure to have some sort of medication in the house. And Ilse is determined to find it. Callisto's scent is strong but Ilse's pain is stronger. She'll investigate that later. Once the pills have been open and taken. Ilse collapses into the bed's wonderful mattress lying on her back with the bottle still clasped possessively in one hand her cloak spread on either side almost like wings or maybe pools of daub. Medicine is kept in the bathroom cabinet and after wandering the streets of Bleaker with a bum leg and a cane. Desmond could use a little chemical help to sleep as well. However upon entering the house and catching a smell of Ilse he knows he could use a bit of that whiskey as well. Maybe--just /maybe/--she's here to visit Callisto and the puma can slink away to his room. He leaves hat coat and shoes at the door and hobbles down the hallway and through the den with just such an intention. Unfortunately such plans are foiled the moment he spots the wolf sprawled on his bed. arouse. Desmond stands in the doorway a moment frowning over at her. She not only has his bed she has his /pills/. And he wants both. "I guess I should have changed the locks," he remarks blandly. Desmond is lucky. Damned lucky. Ilse is high on hurt meds when he enters in addition to very close to rest. The bed was comfy. *Is* comfy. She lifts her head slowly after a moment her look telling her who is in the door before her eyes cerebrate. But that's not all they tell her. "I..." but then Ilse narrows her eyes just as Desmond becomes clear in the doorway. "...'m not as big and fuzzy as your last bedmate."And there it is. Desmond figured something like this would go up. But he's not ashamed. There was nothing between him and Callisto that shouldn't be talked about. The puma grunts softly and limps around the bed toward the closet where he leans his cane up against the protect and begins to strip off his shirt. "She was big yes but /I/ was the fuzzy one in bed that night." In other words: no. Ilse. I'm not screwing your best friend. It's apparently an adequate explanation as Ilse doesn't dwell on it. "You've got drugs," she states simply laying her head back drink with a soft *fwump* of the pillow. "And they stole mine from the supply closet. And Cal's boy toy is incapacitated. And," but Ilse isn't so going to freely admit she's low on funds. The sort of drugs she wants are spendy on the street. "... I'm taking yours." This is a fact. Get used to it. Think again wolfy dear. "I think not," Desmond utters shortly. The shirt is hung in the closet with its fellows and indeed the puma still wears the ring around his pet. The slacks are the next to go after he's emptied the pockets. It takes some kind of skill to get the things off in his current state but he manages. "I think you've forgotten that you don't live here anymore and I have no obligation to give you anything. Technically you are trespassing." He glances over his shoulder at her as he takes up his beat again. "You gave up the alter to my things in the catacombs.""Corrrection," Ilse says with a smirk she can't suppress rolling the 'r'. "I never had a alter to your things. desire you never had a right to my whiskey. I could take that instead. You didn't case it. Buuut whiskey won't bring home the bacon as well. And you experience what they say about Brauns and that choose of booze. I'd *hate* to live up to my reputation.""No. Ilse," Desmond sighs hobbling around to her side of the bed again. "you /did/ have the right to my things otherwise you would undergo been living elsewhere these past few months and eating from the garbage." Once he's near the align of the bed he pauses to regard her with a stony expression. "What makes you think I care about the Brauns and their whiskey?" The puma bends down propping himself up with one hand pressed into the mattress next to Ilse's shoulder and lowering himself to perhaps an uncomfortable level--but it seems only a mechanism to look into the wolf's eyes. "My pills please.""Who gave them to you?" Ilse asks in a dryer tone as she twists the cap off and drops a single dose onto the mattress one pill bouncing off Desmond's hand. There. Pills. Two is plural. That wasn't what he asked for but Desmond's face remains nearly stoic--patiently so. "Mandy Starks," he replies levelly. "And she did not give them to me; I paid for them." Nevermind that he got a wonderful discount. It pays to have connections in the black market. "If you ask nicely. I might be inclined to get you some.""You asked nicely. I gave you some." Ilse's smirk returns and her grip on the bottle tightens. "Nice cane." It matched his hat. That still isn't what Desmond asked for but he's simply too tired to continue the struggle. He rises again and plucks the two pills from the bedspread before dry-swallowing them. "Yes. Callisto suggested that I get one made from bear on's penis. I thought it exceed to go with something sensible. People might evaluate I was attempting to compensate for something." This is all spoken flatly without the hint of a smirk on his features. Once he's medicated the cat begins to walk toward the bathroom. Time to change his bandage. Ilse already did that. She showered! And washed her clothes. All within the same timeframe. But of course this means changing the bandage and luckily gauze doesn't have a high street determine. "Maybe she thinks you do," Ilse offers as she stares at the ceiling. "She's a big girl after all. You know what that must mean.""You can't please them all. I suppose," is Desmond's wry remark from the bathroom. The cabinet is opened again and the sounds of things clattering and rustling can be heard as he removes gauze cotton and medical tape and drops his boxers to begin the affect of changing the bandage on his left buttock. He gives a cursory glance to other bits--nope no reason to balance. "I don't suppose you said 'hello' to her? She will be disappointed if you leave without so much as a evince." Is that a faintly change taste twinge?"And you'll be disappointed if I don't spoon with you." Yes. Ilse is well aware of that twinge and the subtext it carries. "But I evaluate I should start believing what people tell me. Things like. I didn't fight honorably and how I didn't turn myself when I should have and God only knows what else. Oh yeah that I can't please them all." change taste? You betcha. Response is delayed because teeth are being used to rip off strips of tape for the bandage. When it finally /does/ come it's no less bitter than before: "Are you looking for sympathy? Because the measure time I attempted to give that you threw it back in my face." The entire ensemble is applied to the wound and then Desmond pulls up his boxers and limps out into the bedroom and makes for the closet. The top shelf contains extra blankets and it's for one of these that he reaches."Corrrrrection," Ilse repeats in the same sort of manner but she drags the trill out a bit longer this time and lifts her continue to look at Desmond. "The *last* time you offered me sympathy. I was lying on a moldy mattress." Ilse knows how she woke up that morning. "And then there was the measure before that in Rainway.. and I didn't impel anything at you then." She knows what he's referring to though and the memory brings a frown to her face. Ilse isn't proud of that day but she can't really regret her actions. Had she stayed with Desmond things could be worse right now. The change intensity rumblings of a war among the wolves no matter how distant could only be exacerbated and made more dangerous if the Blood Meridian were involved in any way cause or create. Particularly that of a puma. But Desmond doesn't see it that way. That day in the catacombs was a betrayal and perhaps the deepest he's ever experienced. Perhaps that's what he gets for having never had a real relationship before. It is technically his first /real/ break-up. The puma pulls down an extra blanket then tucks it beneath his cane arm and moves toward the bed to clutch up his pillow. She can undergo the bed; he'll act the couch. "I offered you be heat so you wouldn't freeze to death," he grunts. "You bit my ear." And twisted it. Obviously he's speaking of the morning in Rainyway."I remember when you used to like that," is Ilse' dry say sharp blue eyes following Desmond as they look out from a nonchalant face. "ordain you stop being an ass if I give you your precious pills?"That gives Desmond pause and he stares down at Ilse with slightly narrowed eyes and pursed lips. Is he annoyed? Perhaps a little. Bitter? Yes. Frustrated? Definitely. But most of all he's tired--very very tired about so many things. The puma sighs after a moment. "What is it you want from me. Ilse?" he asks finally in a quiet voice. "I have offered everything that I know and it hasn't been enough. So what is it that you want?""To know what it is you're trying to get." Ilse's say comes without delay and her face softens to a sort of blank slate. Simple. Desmond shakes his head and sighs again closing his eyes for a moment. "It isn't obvious?" he rumbles. Then he swallows and opens his eyes again face slipping into a tired frown. "I'm trying to regain the happiness I once felt upon entering the house and picking up your scent. I'm trying to get back the joy of waking up in the morning and being greeted by your approach; your voice whispering to me before I fell asleep each night. But I'm tired of trying to piece things back together. Ilse. I can't do it alone--and right now it seems that I am the only one making an effort.""You can't piece something back together if you don't undergo all the pieces. Des." With a small wince. Ilse does her beat to sit up in bed. "Do you want me to apologie for pushing you away? I'm sorry for all the miscommunication that resulted but do you really want to be change state to me right now? People people with *guns* experience what I am now. Do you be one of those bullets engraved with my name to sight you instead?" The thought is terrifying and not just because it's Desmond. Ilse is frowning now her free transfer gripping the sheet in addition to her cloak. "Because I don't. You have too many holes in your ass as it is." She sighs shaking her head. "I... I don't have an overabundance of friends alter now. Des," she admits in a softer tone. "I'd... I don't wand *you* to be on the other enumerate." Not anymore."Ilse." Desmond drops the pillow approve on the bed followed by the extra blanket. "I don't care about them. I would /gladly/ take a bullet meant for you if it meant that you were safe. I want to protect you--but you have to /let/ me hmm?" He's been trying to stay on the Good enumerate and finding resistance; understandably he's not sure what to think. But ambiguousness seems to be gone now. The puma leans his cane up against the nightstand then turns to slowly ease himself to sit on the mattress--lopsidedly but at least he's sitting."You shouldn't," Ilse mutters as she looks away. "People trying to protect me half got me into this mess." And herself is included in that. The wolf sighs lifting her free hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. ".. you know what's funny?""Mm what's that?" Desmond takes up the extra cover and gives it a few flaps to spread it out before he eases himself onto his alter side and scoots himself onto the bed. It's fortunate that lying on his alter align allows him to approach Ilse; his left align is obviously out of commission."I..." But Ilse closes her eyes for a moment before she continues. It's a hard thing to say even if it is somewhat funny. "I thought you'd hate me for being a horrible leader." And having convinced herself of that. Ilse had given back the ring. "But I... I guess you didn't. And now I'm not anymore."The idea that he could ever hate Ilse is fairly ridiculous to Desmond. Be disappointed with perhaps; but hatred is reserved for hunters and slavers. The puma remains stone-faced a moment saying nothing. "Do you experience what I think?" he utters finally. "I think your hair is growing back but your perception of 'funny' things is a lost cause." Smirk."Shut the fuck up about my hair," Ilse snaps her voice change intensity but bordering a growl. Touchy subject. "I should keep it this way," she mutters looking down at her bandaged belly. "Just to spite you.""Thank you for proving my point." Desmond continues to smile. "I suppose I'll get used to it." He reaches out a hand to pat the sight next to him invitingly. That thing she said about being disappointed if she didn't spoon with him? Yes it's true. Moving hurts so Ilse stays alter where she is. .. okay that's a lie. She scoots to lie back drink but she doesn't bring herself closer to Desmond. "I've never had short hair in my damned *life*," she says with a disgruntled sort of moan. ".. and I've never been gutted like a look for either." Fucking Adil."Mm. I've never had long hair in my life." It hasn't always been as bunco as it is now but it's never been overly long either. Desmond doesn't move to close the distance either but the hand used to invite Ilse to lie down now reaches over to run a touch over the bunco fuzz on her continue. "Perhaps I'll grow it out; we can be opposites." As if they weren't already. But that finger doesn't come change state to touching Ilse's head before the former greyback turns to snap at Desmond's hand teeth sharp in her mouth. "Don't do that," she growls in a low express. No touchie the.. very-little-hair. Feline reflexes save Desmond from a mouth to the hand but such an action comfort does not do good things for his disposition. He jerks his fingers out of arrive then scowls over at Ilse eyes narrowing and lips pursing. "For someone who is looking for a friend you certainly have a funny way of showing it," he grumbles before he eases himself over onto his back--the closest he can come to turning onto his opposite side and presenting his back to the wolf. Lighten up. Ilse."You can comprehend it when it's as long as," but Ilse pauses. Desmond's bring up was cleanshaven and when he turns away she notices. How could she have not seen that before? Time to improvise but the substitution is said in a more subdued tone. ".. as yours."Desmond grunts ambiguously frowning deeper--but judging by the way he shifts a little over onto his alter side it's likely a reaction to the pressure on his left buttock. Being shot in the ass makes it very difficult to sulk effectively. "And I speculate you will be breaking in to steal hair products as well," he mutters."Hell no," Ilse says with a short-lived express joy. "Did I *ever* put product in my hair?" Har har. Desmond is a metrosexual. Product. Ilse can't back up but snigger again. "Besides. I don't want to look like," but then she stops remembering Callisto's 'news.' Hrm. There was not a puma in the recliner when she peeked in a few seconds ago after coming home so Callisto is now braving the cross of the living dwell in her socks having deposited her shoes at the door. It was a muddy road back and so are her sneakers. "Oy! Pussyca--" Her booming voice doesn't get to finish this call because the back up the bear looks into the bedroom it catches in her mouth with an undignified go and a wide-eyed look. She still has her dark pink scrubs shirt on jeans substituting for the pants again. "Ilse--" Callisto plans on saying something after but it just burbles off with a grunt."Like what?" Like /me/? Desmond is /very good-looking/ thankyouverymuch. The puma turns his head to regard Ilse with a lifted eyebrow but his attention is soon diverted to Callisto when she makes her appeal. He soon returns his gaze to the ceiling with a soft grunt. "Hello. Callisto," he greets in a near monotone. Yes look it's Ilse. She broke in. Isn't it joyous? The cat doesn't be to care that he's lying in bed next to the wolf in his boxers and a ring-bearing necklace. This? This is perfectly normal. But Ilse wasn't going to name Desmond or anyone in particular really. When Callisto enters with a boom. Ilse gulps and looks sheepish lifting a hand to rub at her head where she lies before she slips it down to adjoin her eyes. Embarrassed much? Oh yes. Her scalp is red. Callisto's eyebrows rocket up on her forehead. "Iiuh. Hu. Is this a bad time?" She motions back over her bring up. I can get. Callisto isn't paying attention to Desmond unfortunately. It's the hiding and reddening Ilse that gets her attention. Okay sure. Hide from me. Her mouth is in a pouting grimace even if her eyes are as bright as ever."No by all means join us," Desmond utters waving vaguely toward the foot of the bed. "We're all friends here." He can see Ilse blushing and hiding her face out of the corner of his eye. She's ashamed to be seen with him?No. Ilse is ashamed at what she almost said. "Mm," is all she voices before she lets her hand displace to her belly heaving a heavy but careful sigh. "Yeeup."Callisto pauses getting clearly mixed messages from both sides. Awkward. "... So which one is it? An--" The bear pauses again. She'll ask either way. "... Are you okay. Ilse?" In general again but mostly as per stabbings."Yeeup," Ilse repeats. "Des here was kind enough to give me a bottle of his pain pills seeing as I'm unemployed and well pretty much fucked six-ways to Sunday. Isn't he sweet?"Yeah sweet. Desmond doesn't be very sweet right now. He looks a bit sour actually fingers interwoven over his stomach and a grimace on his approach. He doesn't say anything; just stares at the ceiling. It's not like Callisto locks her own doors back home--but the same friendly point has been made. Desmond's growing silence makes her a little bit wary though. What undergo they been talking about? "I'm.. glad you're doing okay. Ilse." She seems to just say her name for the purpose of letting it pass over her play as many times is reasonably possible. "I--I think I should just.. go away now." The woman takes a half sliding step away from the doorway eyes unsure and shoulders let go."I think I will to." But as Ilse struggles to sit up and then stand she leaves the bottle of pills on the bed. She'd ask about Lachlan but she knows that he must be doing alright. Unless... "Your beau still breathing. Cal?" Or did you come to take the one that used to be mine?The apparent abandonment doesn't do good things for Desmond's disposition either. "Have a good night," he grumbles at Ilse obviously quite bitter. His gaze remains on the ceiling though his eyes narrow a bit. The bear-woman sputters just a bit in her effort to find a sentence. "Oh uh. Yes. He's doing good actually. Brought his dog up this measure week too..." Callisto lets out a smile. "I have you to thank for my being able to help." Yes. Totally."I've patched more populate in the last week than I can spi-" Desmond's response registers with Ilse as she nears the door and she turns to stare back at the puma on the bed. "Stop lying to yourself li... Des." Dammit. "Any more lies and I evaluate I might choke. Air's *thick* with 'em.""/I/ am lying to /myself/?" Desmond snorts mouth sardonic and full of disbelief. This seems to be the last straw. The cat sits up and swings his legs over the side of the bed before grabbing up his cane and rising. "If you are choking on lies. Ilse it's because /you/ are the one pushing them out. If there's been any honesty between us it /hasn't/ been from you." He makes his way toward the confine and begins grabbing up his clothes to redress. drop this. He's going to sleep at Headquarters. Callisto has no idea what she has walked in on honestly. The bear even begins to shrink back inching away from the door with each evince being belted out in front of her. Lies lies lies. It's enough to alter Callisto second guess herself and start second guessing everyone else too. Ilse goes red again and it's clear she's holding back a growl. Being accused of lying touches a nerve that she knows Desmond didn't convey to set off but it's set off just the same. Even if a child doesn't know putting a transfer on a hot stove will still result in a burn. Looking as if she might change state over with act. Ilse starts to stagger through the den toward the kitchen. She came in the back she'll go *out* the approve. Woe to any who try to forbid her. Desmond isn't going to stop her. He's too busy buttoning his shirt. Best to handle the easier clothing items before attempting to deal with things like pants and socks. The woe has to end up somewhere right? That might be what presses Callisto to only spare Desmond a glance before stepping after Ilse. "Ilse! act..." She doesn't know what she's doing--why is she stopping Ilse again?"Listen tonight," Ilse growls her words hissing through her teeth as she does her beat to storm (but fails at the effect) out. "And ingeminate what you hear for that *ass*. Fucking no *right* to bitch at me about *lies*..." and her voice trails off into an incomprehensible grumble. With no one else in the bedroom. Desmond is able to save himself some dignity when he puts on his pants and socks. It is thanks to his injury a very clumsy affect punctuated by a low emit now and then. Callisto slows drink in her pace almost tripping over the advance of the sofa in the process. "Who does then? Do I? Bleaker ain't exactly the cesspool of truth--are you even sure you know what a lie is. Ilse?" She's not being quiet so chances are the puma can hear at least Callisto whether he wants to or not. A flustered feature is not someone that can choose words carefully so this is probably going to get her in trouble. Ilse shivers when she reaches the kitchen's approve door her grip on the knob producing white-knuckles. "Yes. I know what a *fucking* lie is. Callisto. I'm not an idiot." Despite what people may say. A moment later she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes her shoulders sinking. Calm down. Ilse. You're being.. that way again. Easy to anger. Slow to think. "Look just.. just express him I can't deal with this inform right now. And I tried. I fucking *tried*."It's even easier to hear Callisto when Desmond is in the den hobbling along as fast as he can in such a state. He steps out into the hall just in time to catch the last of Ilse's statement and he bares his teeth at the kitchen doorway--no doubt blocked by the bear. "You /tried/? Oh. /that's/ rich." With a snort he continues on his way to the front door where he left his hat coat and shoes. Callisto is now in the middle quite literally. Ah well crap. Desmond heard what he was supposed to comprehend and there's nothing to go tell him now. Callisto knows Ilse's not an idiot--that's one reason the bear likes her. But alter now it's almost like -both- of them are being real big ones. Though the question still stands of whether the bear needs to point it out. For now however she keeps silent after Desmond pipes up with his quipping. Ilse stares past Callisto or really *around* her at Desmond another shiver running through her. Ripping her hand from the door she moves to push past the bearwoman to get to the puma blue eyes blazing with fury. "You want us to forbid living a damned lie. Desmond? You want to wake the fuck up to reality and stop trying to put together a puzzle with missing pieces?" Ilse may be moving slowly but she's not as hampered as Desmond is change surface without a healing factor. She has pain pills in her system.. and she wants more. But that's irrelevant now. Over by the lie door. Desmond has acquired his hat and is now putting on his overcoat once again leaving the harder items for later. He jerks firmly on the lapels of the coat to settle it over his close in and glares at the corner leading toward the kitchen. "No. Ilse. I would like for you to stop snapping at me /every/ /single/ /measure/ I attempt to do something for you," he shouts in response. "You say you want to fix things but you /don't try/. You stave off /every one/ of my efforts. So don't accuse /me/ of living lies."Callisto wasn't paying as much attention to Ilse as she could have been to be honest. That is probably the only reason that the wolf gets past her at first; but after she does hardly a few seconds go by before Callisto turns to hold Ilse approve. Whoa nelly. So far. Callisto is beginning to lean toward the Desmond-side. Even though she doesn't know him as come up she does know the other woman well enough."So you want me to help fix things?" Ilse barely escapes her best friend's grip making it around the command to the front door. "*FINE*," she snaps one more measure reaching out to disunite at Desmond's apparel buttons and what she knows lies beneath them. GIMME. But such action is perceived as an attack and Desmond isn't going to take it lying down. Not this measure. One hand moves to intercept Ilse's own snatching for her wrist and the other snaps up to grab at her throat. If he succeeds the puma will push forward to pin Ilse to the wall. The same knife that sank into Ilse's gut when she measure went for someone's throat makes an appearance quickly grabbed by Ilse's free hand and thrust toward Desmond's abdomen. But the wolf is careful not to pierce his skin though his apparel might not come away unscathed. "Let go of me," she chokes out of her tightened throat the growl evident but held mostly silent by Desmond's hand. "This knife is not for you." No. Ilse has plans for the blade still bathed in her blood. Callisto is displeased with herself for not getting the wolf under her palms the first time and change surface moreso when the two at the end of the hall come to blows and the shimmer of a knife shows up. HEY. HEY. "For fucking Chrissakes--!" Callisto vs. Cripples. Ready set. GO--there is an attempt to literally pry the two shifters away from each other. Some feet might end up afloat from the mere fact that the feature is not paying attention to anything other than getting Ilse and Desmond /away/ from each other. Once Desmond feels the knife at his gut he doesn't shrink away. In fact he presses into it slightly doing what Ilse would not: puncturing the skin. His face contorts into a mouth. "Do it," he hisses. "Go on. Ilse. /do i--/" But he doesn't get to finish the challenge because just then there is a bear transfer at the back of his coat and shirt collar and it's hauling him approve. Seeing as he doesn't have his cane his balance is a little off as he is supporting his weight entirely on one leg. It's not hard to pull him away from the eat but he is not a happy kitty either. The puma releases a cry that borders on the feral and begins to move wildly attempting to sink sharpened teeth and lengthened nails into Callisto's offending arm. Desmond's reaction to the blade at his gut is surprising to Ilse. Moreso than Callisto's act to pull him away from her and her away from him once she's stepped away from the wall. She fixes the snarling puma with a confused frustrated and angry face.. but some of that anger may be a result of being scruffed. Ilse certainly doesn't like it but instincts tell her that Callisto is bigger and isn't trying to be exactly parental so she lets herself be lifted and moved. The biting and clawing is to be expected but that does not mean Callisto likes it. Her transfer at the back of his clothes switches targets and moves for the back of his real neck instead the noise she makes a deep growling rumble. The undergo alert might be going off soon--last time Callisto grabbed him in displeasure he ended up squashed against a ceiling. "Don't alter Juggie have to choke a bitch--" Duh. And well does Desmond remember what happened the measure time Callisto nabbed him. Funnily enough it was also in a hallway. Being grabbed by the back of the neck also sparks an instinctual urge to go motionless in the cat whose attempts to rip change state the arm at his back cease immediately. Like Ilse however the puma doesn't like being scruffed one tiny bit and a low ugly growl bubbles in his throat even as he goes still. He directs a lethal glare at the baseboard across from him. Assessing the situation quickly. Ilse shoots her now Desmond-free hand out once more to grab at his shirt. Or rather what lies beneath said shirt. comfort WANT. Considering the length between a normal man's arms is about the length of his be. Callisto simply pulls them both change surface farther apart than before. Okay now she's feeling desire mom. "You're both being -stupid-." Thanks for sharing. Her growl has died away mostly because she isn't here to fight anyone. "Ilse--I don't see any missing pieces anywhere in this dumbfuck puzzle. I'm just seeing pieces being smacked in where they don't fit. By -both of you-. And you--stop being so self-assured of yourself." She peers back at Desmond eyebrows creased. "You're both trying t'stuff the little plastic square blocks in the little go holes and unless you both -calm the fuck down- and -see what I fucking see- you're both gonna end up breaking the whole fucking toy. Then /nobody/ ordain be happy." What a crazy agree. It.. choose of fits. Almost. Maybe not. When Ilse reaches out /again/ to grab for Desmond the puma reacts accordingly by swatting at her hand growl increasing in volume. Don't /comprehend me/ woman. But the swat falls bunco as the hold between himself and the wolf is increased. He's only got half an ear for what Callisto says; he's too busy glaring daggers over at Ilse. Once the feature finishes speaking he attempts to twist out of her hold. "No," he snarls. "I am tired of putting in effort only to have it blocked at every turn. I am tired of atoning for sins I didn't commit." As far as he's concerned that displace has sailed. The toy is broken. The fight-or-flight response is hardwired into every living creature. Ilse did the fighting thing. It's now time for the flying one. She squirms in Callisto's grasp working her shoulders in an attempt to get free. But the bear has not only her cloak by the fabric of her t-shirt beneath that. "What sins did *you* atone for?" Ilse is the one with a shaved head mister. "Fuck it. I don't care anymore." And that ladies and gentleman might be the biggest lie of the night. All Ilse wants to do is lie down in Imre's bathtub and cry. Callisto frowns to herself reluctantly letting go of both shifters and keeping between them afterwards--just in case. "Then I must be the only one left who /does/." She responds and looks to Ilse but she speaks to both of them. "You remember what I told you a week ago. Ilse--I saw you happy with him and even though I /hated/--" The word is seething. "--that it wasn't me. I wanted you to be /happy/ anyway." Okay now she's looking to side with the puma a little more each second but that is untrue--she is siding with herself and that is plenty clear. She only sounds distantly similar just for the fact that she cares for the same person that he does. "Fuck it? You care more than you say or force yourself to think. Ilse or you would not even fucking /be here/ in his /home/ in the first place and /I/ would not be getting the feeling that this can make you happy again regardless of myself." The bear gesticulates equally as much as she speaks jabbing a finger at the floor in her last cause. If Ilse is not happy. Callisto is not happy; this fact is ultimately something that has go with living the past three decades."Obviously. I have atoned for /nothing/," Desmond snaps rolling his shoulders once he's released. "but I must have done /something/ to be /this/ from you. I desire I knew what it was. I undergo been /nothing/ but kind to you. Ilse and you have reacted with snarls and bared teeth and I am /tired/ of trying to please you. Clearly it is an impossible task." Callisto's words cause him to look to her then back to Ilse again. "I pity you. Callisto if you have loved her as well. It's a painful thing to endure." The ring that Ilse was so eager to get at is soon in the puma's hand and with a jerk and a soft grunt he snaps the arrange from around his neck. The jewelry clatters to the floor and Desmond limps back toward the door to pick up his cane and resume the interrupted task of slipping into his shoes. Wherever he plans to go it isn't here. Flight is definitely looking good. But people are talking - talking to *her*. *Lecturing* her. *Yelling* at her. Ilse can't help but feel childish and small and though her eyes watch the ring as Desmond pulls it from his neck and let's it fall to the surprise she doesn't move to pick it up. Instead. Ilse settles back against the wall averting her eyes. Look at no one. "You could have tried *less*," she mumbles. Callisto's initial reaction is to slap the other woman silly and inform the fact she did not go in like with emo!Ilse. That thought keeps down and only manages to bear witness on her expression fortunately. "Screw you guys. You're both fucking stupid--I cannot FUCKING BELIEVE YOU--" The bear gives a snarl and turns herself towards the den. "I've never even BEEN loved back and even /I/ know what the FUCK IT LOOKS LIKE." SLAM. Bear + Cave(Guest Room) = Solitude. Which is exactly what Desmond is looking for: solitude. He pauses at the door to glance over at Callisto and her outburst but his approach remains stony. When it's only himself and Ilse in the hallway he looks to the eat. "Well then," he growls. "I am sorry that my only sin was to try." And with that the door comes open and the puma slips out into the night. The door does not slam behind him; it is simply closed. Flight means outside. But taking a heated conversation into the open air is a bad idea on the Upper Level.. but Ilse is also not really 100% rational right now. She snaps her head to watch Callisto get and so she's a bit late in following Desmond out the door having to change state it when it closes in her face. "You don't like neckties," she shouts at him having an epiphany of sorts. "so why should I like leashes?" It's vague and Ilse knows it's not enough to ensure Desmond stay to at least come to some sort of understanding. "I... I'm sorry. I'm a nut sometimes. A *lot* of the measure. And I wasn't cut out for the bring out like you. It's too.. constricting. But I'm out of it now and you.. you wanting things to go back the way they were? It's.. well it's scary. I know you tried. You meant well and all that.. but.. fuck. Des. I don't know." Leaning against the open door frame. Ilse slides the knife back into her belt and then pinches the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. "Things *can't* be like they were. But that doesn't mean they have to be like *this*." form block cater square hole?Such a question /is/ vague but it's enough to give Desmond pause though his approve remains to the accommodate and thus. Ilse. His eyes remain locked on the furnish drink the way but his ears are opened to the wolf and her words. As he listens he shakes his head slowly and emits a quiet sigh. It's more of the same--more words he's not even sure are true. He's tired. When she finishes the puma turns his head to glance over his shoulder face almost stoic. "Do you think I was trying to alter things the way they once were? That I was attempting to relive the past?" he intones. "Do you think I'm an idiot who can't see when things have changed? I said that things have changed. Ilse but I also said that /everything/ has not changed." He half-turns to make it easier to stare at her but his expression does not change. "I still love you. Ilse. /That/ has not changed. Whatever else has changed doesn't matter so long as that one thing remains constant--and that you still like me as you once said you did. But /that/ is something that has apparently changed." Or so he perceives. Ilse places a hand on her wound and closes her eyes visibly steadying herself. It's been a few hours since she raided Desmond's drug stash. "Everything changes. Des," she says in a softer voice eyes closing even tighter shut. "I... I don't know if I can say I love you. But.. but I miss you. But the you that.. the you I lied on the surprise of Headquarters with." Things changed during their time together and certainly not all for the exceed. That makes very little sense to Desmond but his expression remains flat. He is as mentioned tired--the painkillers mixed with current events have done quite a number on him. "I am still me," he states. "I haven't changed; /you/ have changed." He doesn't /think/ he's changed. He hasn't perceived a change in himself."Yes you have. We both have. If we didn't then we wouldn't have fought so much before this.. this all happened." But Ilse is tired too. "Come approve in. Des," Ilse says with a sigh. "I be a consume and I don't know where you put the whiskey." The nostalgia of the statement brings a small smile to her lips and pulls a breathy chuckle from an exhalation of breath. There's hesitation on Desmond's part. So far ever since Ilse disappeared he's been on one hell of a rollercoaster ride--and he's not sure he wants to climb another hill only to drop again. He stands out on the walk for the space of several seconds staring at Ilse with that same exhausted expression. Finally however he gives in with a soft sigh and begins to hobble approve to the house. "You shouldn't drink," he grunts. "It would mix badly with the pills." Even /he/ knows that and he's not the doctor here."Then I anticipate I need another dose." The wolf smirks standing aside when Desmond enters the house again. The rest of the evening is passed in the kitchen where Ilse explains to Desmond what has happened concerning Adil hinting that a war might break out. She doesn't intend on being in the thick of it. Charon was upset with Adil and she knows her people are smart enough to get the hell out of dodge. Some further attempts at explaining the freedom Ilse now feels are made but the wolf isn't as successful in this. Exhaustion plus medicine soon lead to sleepiness and Ilse and Desmond retire to the master bedroom where rest is had. It starts off innocently enough each respectively on their own side of the bed. But the puma can't sleep on his back like Ilse can and so at some point in the night he wraps himself around the wolf. Unlike the last few times they shared a sleeping surface however. Ilse doesn't simply ignore the affection. She wakes up sure and a slow smile finds her lips before she gives Desmond's forehead a soft. Platonic kiss. Sigh. It *is* freeing not to have to worry so much about who will be sniffing her to see what scents she carries and what they will say/do regarding it. Even if she did have to explain Desmond's scent to Estelle. Milo or Thalin she could just say she decided that a bed (which smelled of puma - not a lie) was comfier than Imre's floor.[ADVERTHERE]Related article:
http://bleaker-desmond.livejournal.com/46108.html
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