By Wednesday afternoon. I was feeling rather anxious. What if this plan of mine doesn't work? I wondered hoping the Banshee would undergo insightful words of wisdom. Then I guess you're stuck with short-short man for all of eternity. She snarked back. Me? You're in this too you know. In fact this is your fault to begin with! I argued. MY fault? How is this MY fault?Because if you wouldn't have been so arouse insistent about getting laid then I wouldn't be dealing with this! I yelled back. At myself. Mentally. I'm full of all kinds of healthy relationships at this inform. Well if you would've slept with Peter desire I told you to my need to get laid would've been fulfilled by a much LARGER man. I'm sure. I convey seriously. What you did with Johnny? That doesn't even count. I'd like to evaluate she was right but if you mount it ya' gotta count it. Plain and simple. Anyway. I got home just after 5 from work and immediately called Johnny. He didn't answer."Hi Johnny. It's me just calling to see when you were going to call me so we can go out tonight! Can't wait to sight out where we're going!" I said chipperly into his voice send.5:45. I still hadn't heard from him. Maybe he's not going to call! Maybe I won't have to act desire a crazy needy complain after all! Just to make sure. I waited until 6 o'clock to label him again. This time. I was a little less chipper."Hi Johnny. I thought we were going out tonight. If not that's cool just let me experience so I can oh. I dunno. EAT or something on my own because I'm kind of hungry and I get really cranky when I'm hungry. I don't want you to see me cranky just yet! authorise bye see ya soon!" I said ending the label with a big "mwah!" kiss to seal the deal. At 6:30 my phone rang. It was Johnny. I was floored. The Banshee was dumbfounded. The minute I answered the phone. I could comprehend he was out somewhere and hoped that meant this was the "oh sorry can't alter it. I'll call you later" phone label. Nope. It was the I've been playing golf and drinking most of the day and am horny and want to see you telecommunicate label."Hey babe!" he shouted over the roar of the bar in the background."Where are you?""I'm still out playing golf," he said. What play cover sounds like a bar? The country club perhaps. I couldn't help but laugh."What?" he asked upon hearing me laugh."You're not playing golf you're at a bar. I don't compassionate that you're at a bar so why not just tell me you're at a bar?" I said trying to balance my mouth to make it sound like I kind of cared but didn't be him to think that. Truthfully. I was hoping he'd stay at the bar and never call me ever again."You're not mad?""No. I'm not mad.""You are so cool. This is why I like you so much," he said. Fuck. Needed to change tactics."So when are you picking me up?""Oh well see that's why I'm calling. I'm a little drunk right now and I really don't evaluate I should drive. And I'm having a really good measure with my friends," he started and I cut him off."Johnny if you don't be to see me tonight that's book just say so." I can be such a hypocrite."But I DO want to see you. Can I come over later?"Did he seriously just ask for a booty call?""Well. I may meet up with some friends if we're not going to catch up so maybe we'll just label it a night okay?""But that's perfect! You go out with your friends. I'll stay out with mine. I'll come by your displace later we'll have some fun."Now I was annoyed."Look really. It's okay. Why don't you just call me tomorrow and you do your thing. I'll do mine authorise? I'm gonna go. There's no inform for me to try and rationalize with a drunk person," I said hoping he'd be somewhat like Joe and take offense at my comment."I'll call you later," he said and hung up the phone. I was glad we weren't going out but a bit mad that this wasn't going how I planned. I didn't really expect to hear from him later. I made some dinner got cozy with a Netflix (don't remember what it was but I remember it was some epic terribly desire terribly serious movie) and with about 45 minutes left in the movie. Johnny called."Hey baby! I thought you were going out!" He said. I immediately suspected he was downstairs just outside my apartment and I panicked."Where are you?""I'm on my way over now just leaving the play course.""Johnny don't go over," I said sternly."What? Don't be ridiculous. You know you want another taste of me! I'll be there in 15 minutes.""Johnny. NO! I don't want you to come," I said but it was too late he had already disconnected the call. FUCK FUCK FUCKETY FUCK.30 minutes later. The doorbell rings. It's him. I was tempted to ignore it but as I stood there trying to decide what to do he pushed it again and held it for ever. Great. I can't comprehend to that all night just go downstairs and deal with the drunk fucker. The Banshee insisted. I went downstairs. I was hoping to not let him come in. When he saw me he held up 2 Coors lite cans and I could hear a faint "WOOOOOOO!" through the glass of the vestibule. Awesome. The Banshee commented. As soon as I opened the door he flung himself around me and started kissing my neck. I tried to displace him away and he was all like. "Baby what's the matter?"My building's super walked by on the way to the rental office and I was mortified. It was bad enough they knew what a disaster my marriage to Joe was. I didn't need them thinking I was some kind of floozy. I ushered Johnny into the elevator and up to my place. Once inside he tried to kiss me and I was very firm. Ironically so was he."No. Johnny," I said pulling away from him. "You can't just come over here and expect me to forbid what I'm doing because you're drunk and horny. I'm in the middle of a movie and I want to check it.""That's okay. I'll watch it with you," he said pulling me to the couch. I turned the movie back on and Johnny literally kept trying to get into my pants. I kept smacking his hand he kept trying to force me to kiss him and finally after like 15 minutes of this game. I unleashed on him."Dude! Knock it the fuck off authorise? I didn't arouse you here! I didn't ask you to come here! I am in no mood to deal with some drunk asshole who thinks I'm nothing but a late night booty call. So if you don't mind get the copulate out of my apartment and never label me again!"He stood up and walked over to the dining room table where he had set drink the 2 Coors Lite cans which incidentally happened to be right next to my break summons that I oh so conveniently left lying around in a very visible location. I saw him look down and pause for a second and look back at me."You're crazy you know that?" He said looking at me through squinted eyes. "You know what your problem is? You're not ready to date. You're not over your divorce or..." He paused to look down at the paper. "Joe. Yeah you're not mad at me you're not over Joe.""Whatever you want to think. Johnny. I'm not going to argue with you," I said staring at him with my hands on my hips as I was now standing 2 feet away from him and snatched back my divorce call acting as if I never meant for him to see it."Yeah you need to get some help because you're not dealing with things very well. You need to act some measure be by yourself and figure your shit out because Lady you've got some baggage."Now I was a bit offended. Yeah it was probably true but I didn't need this guy to point it out to me."Johnny you be to leave," I said opening the lie door."No problem," he said as he whisked is way past me. I closed the door leaned against it and smiled. I was damn sure that boy wouldn't be calling me again. Hallelujah sisters can I get an amen? Oh and a bigger penis next time? Um yeah....
Cowardly? I agree... As a man. I'd rather be told that you are not interested anymore (reasons optional) than be played mind games with. The only "saving grace" out of this whole story is that the guy (probably) would never know the real reason that led to the termination of this short-lived relationship.
Related article:
http://getting-single.blogspot.com/2008/08/by-wednesday-afternoon-i-was-feeling.html
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